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Woman Robs House for Its WiFi Password

Veronica Ann Stephens broke into a house to steal some painkillers. But she said she was looking for a WiFi password. Because, you know, everyone hides their WiFi password in pill bottles.

The incident occurred on Dilly Shaw Tap Road in Texas. That’s where Budweiser got the idea for “DILLY DILLY!” from.

Stephens entered through the bathroom, carrying a flashlight, and rummaged through medicine cabinets and the kitchen before leaving. She claims to know the residents. The residents claim they don’t know her because who the hell would claim to know a crazy lady who breaks into a house looking for a WiFi password?

This idiot was caught because everyone has security cameras in or around their house nowadays. Oh, she also left the flashlight behind. She’s being charged with burglary and could face up to 20 years in prison. What? She broke into the house, didn’t take anything, and actually left the flashlight? And she could get 20 years in prison for that? The homeowners should pay her the $3 for the flashlight, give her the WiFi password so she doesn’t break into any more houses, and this whole thing should be forgotten.

The mistake this lady made, besides everything, is not going to the wireless router. That’s typically where people keep their WiFi password. Not in bathrooms and kitchens.

Don’t worry lady, when the government passes this net neutrality bill, you’ll be able to get all the free WiFi you want because nothing will be a secret anymore. If you’re not in prison, that is.

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