Aziz Ansari Admits He Doesn’t Know How to Read Signals After Harassment Claim

The most woke comedian of this generation, Aziz Ansari, was accused over the weekend of basically being a rapey frat bro.

The short story is a 23-year-old Brooklyn based photographer went on a date with Aziz Ansari last year. They quickly ended up at his place near the end of the night. That’s when things got weird. Aziz went down on her even though she was iffy about it and then started fingering her. He tried to f**k her a bunch of times. Unsuccessfully. Many times she tried pulling away to show she wasn’t interested but when a dude is trying to get laid, he’s not going to get the hints. Case in point.

Ansari wanted to have sex. She said she remembers him asking again and again, “Where do you want me to f**k you?” while she was still seated on the countertop. She says she found the question tough to answer because she says she didn’t want to f**k him at all.

The night ended with her finally making an escape, sending him a text the next day about being uncomfortable and here we are a year later.

After the story blew up over the weekend, Aziz finally responded.

“In September of last year, I met a woman at a party. We exchanged numbers. We texted back and forth and eventually went on a date. We went out to dinner, and afterwards we ended up engaging in sexual activity, which by all indications was completely consensual. The next day, I got a text from her saying that although ‘it may have seemed okay,’ upon further reflection, she felt uncomfortable. It was true that everything did seem okay to me, so when I heard that it was not the case for her, I was surprised and concerned. I took her words to heart and responded privately after taking the time to process what she had said.”

The translation being, “I’m only woke when I’m not trying to get it in.”