Bill Cosby Managed Not To Rape Anyone While Dining at La Veranda

Bill Cosby had a nice evening out at La Veranda, a fancy Italian restaurant, last week while he awaits a retrial for the time he allegedly drugged and raped Andrea Constand. Cosby made an interesting request to one of the assembled reporters at one point.

“Please don’t put me on Me Too.” You know what the proper response to this would have been? “Okay, as long as you promise not to drug me and repeatedly rape my unconscious body. Deal?”

At La Veranda, one table of diners stopped by to chat, and another fan recalled how much he enjoyed listening to the comedian’s records — “You never went dirty,” he said appreciatively.

Ah yes, Bill Cosby never worked blue. Sure, he drugged and raped 50 women, but at least he didn’t say f**k, that would be crass.

To be fair to Cosby, he’s one of the greatest stand-up comics of all time, and in a lot of ways I myself looked up to him. I grew up very white in a very white neighborhood. There was one black kid in my high school. I basically learned about black people from the background racism of people around me and from watching The Cosby Show, so Bill Cosby is probably the reason I’m not a huge racist.

I like to think if I got the chance to meet Bill Cosby, I’d look him in the eye, Shake his hand, and say “Doctor Cosby, you’re an amazing actor and comic, a true genius and an inspiration. It’s a shame you’re such a monster”.

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