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Italian Model Cancels Blowjob Tour After Being Mauled By Dog

All over the world, people hate centrists. They’re actually the worst people in the world, so it makes sense. You know the real reason Donald Trump is President? Because centrist Democrats had to nominate their centrist asshole candidate Hillary Clinton, someone so reviled she lost the presidency to an unstable reality star who can barely say the word “president”.

Centrists are no more popular anywhere else in the world. In Italy, the former center-left Prime Minister Matteo Renzi gutted worker protections, and then set his sights on the government, seeking to neuter the power of the co-equal Senate and change the way elections are held to take power away from smaller parties and strengthen the hold of the major centrist parties. After forcing his reforms through the House and Senate, they were defeated in a national referendum.

One woman was so opposed to the law that she promised she’d suck the dick of anyone who voted no if the reforms were defeated. Her name is Paola Saulino and when the reforms were shot down, she set off on a tour of the country to make good on her promise. Seriously. She called it a “Pompa Tour,” and pompa means blowjob.

Well, bad news for Italy, because after sucking countless dicks, she’s had to cancel her tour after getting bitten in the face by a dog. Seriously. Like, what is this woman’s life? She travels the countryside, sucking dicks as a thank you for a voting on a referendum, then she has to stop because she was mauled in the face by a dog?

In a statement to The Sun, Paola said:

“Pompatour is still going. I mean pompatour actually is my life-style. It’s my way to be free.

“The doctor suggested me to not do big movements with my mouth for several months. Reducing physical activity of my face helps it heal better, to cure the scar on the inside.

“After all I’ve learnt from this experience, I decided that my blow jobs can wait for now, and my decision is to care of my health and heal my face.”

I’m not sure this is a huge loss here, she’s kind of a butterface, but hey, once she’s back on the blowjob trail, no one said you have to look at her while she does it. And I’d choose her over Madonna, at any rate, as blowjob for vote schemes go.

Caffettino pomeridiano e pronti per la #seriea ☕️#coffeetime

A post shared by PAOLA SAULINO 🍯😋🐷 (@insta_paolina) on

Shooting #shootingday #crown #flowerpower

A post shared by PAOLA SAULINO 🍯😋🐷 (@insta_paolina) on

If she wasn’t traveling around giving blowjobs with money she made selling naked pictures of herself on Patreon, she’d probably be giving them for 20 lira behind whatever the Italian equivalent of Arby’s is. El Arbyssimo, I guess.

  • TO BLACKS

    She can blow me anytime

    • Bussy

      Count me in as well

    • Pauly Incorrect

      As long as she shaves first.

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