John Cena Following in The Rock’s Footsteps, Will Star in Terrible ‘Duke Nukem’ Movie

Remember when The Rock starred in the movie version of Doom? It sucked.

John Cena wants to be The Rock. Hey, I want to be The Rock too. Cena is charismatic and talented enough to transition from WWE into movies and become one of the biggest stars in Hollywood. He wants to be The Rock so bad that he’s going to do his own shitty movie about a video game.

Cena is currently in talks to star in a Duke Nukem movie, which is likely to be terrible. Don’t me wrong, I loved the Duke Nukem video games, but movies based on video games are never good. The only good video game to movie transition is Tomb Raider. And those movies are not good, Angelina Jolie is just hot.

Let’s not forget that the latest Duke Nukem video game sucked.

Paramount-based Platinum Dunes is the studio producing the movie. They’re the studio who gave us Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. No writer or director has been attached to the film. Michael Bay operated Platinum Dunes and there’s a safe bet that he ends up as the director of this movie. I mean, the game is all explosions and cheesy one-liners. This is like the quintessential Michael Bay film.

Cena is already starring in the upcoming Bumblebee film, which is being produced by Bay. So yeah, Michael Bay is totally directing this Duke Nukem film.

You know what, I’m on board. If you’re going to make a terrible video game movie, go all out. Get Michael Bay and make the most over the top video game movie of all-time.

Cena will do fine in the role. All he does is make corny one-liners and sexual innuendos on WWE television. Now he’ll just be getting paid a lot more to do it.