You should see the pictures Kim Kardashian posted on Instagram and Twitter last night. Actually, this is the internet, so I can just show you the pictures. Take a look, maybe get some fluids in you, and then meet me back here to discuss them, okay?
— Kim Kardashian (@KimKardashian) January 29, 2018
So obviously, what everyone was talking about is her hair. Wait, seriously? I honestly would not have noticed if she didn’t have a head in those pictures. Hell, it might be an improvement, we’d hear less about contouring, whatever that is, and it’s not like we’re missing out on a bunch of compelling thoughts on foreign policy.
Apparently a bunch of people thought the problem with these pictures was cultural appropriation and not that blurry box over the nipples, which is what ruined them for me. One of those people was Lindsay Lohan, who replied to a picture posted by Perez Hilton.
Lindsay said she was confused, and Kim replied “you know what’s confusing… your sudden foreign accent.”
The problem is, Lindsay Lohan may not have even been talking about Kim with that comment. She could have been talking about literally anything, she might not even know where she is. The poor girl just found a computer terminal and was asking for help, and all Kim can do is mock her weird, fake Madonna accent? That’s not how you should treat your friends, Kim!
I decided to look at the comments under one of Kim’s tweets to see the storm of criticism for cultural appropriation, which, let’s face it, is just a woke way of accusing someone of being a biter. Anyway, Kim posted this on Twitter.
Hi, can I get zero fucks please, thanks pic.twitter.com/svo3tewQC8
— Kim Kardashian (@KimKardashian) January 30, 2018
Okay, I can respect that. What was the reaction?
Wait, what? That chain goes on for a while, but it’s just like, a random tweet about basketball.
Anybody know what’s the best and cheapest site for filing taxes? Just trying to make the most with my money
— MORALLY FLEXIBLE (@EchoXrayMusic) January 30, 2018
Now I am confused. I get where Lindsay Lohan is coming from. What is going on, what world have I fallen into?
It’s like there’s an entire social network where people discuss their hopes and dreams and fears under a picture of Kim Kardashian’s boobs. I would totally be on that social network, by the way. BoobSpace.
This guy gets it. He might be the only one who does.