YouTube Cancels Logan Paul From Everything Except The Thing He Makes All His Money From

Remember Logan Paul? He’s the moron who came across a dead body in the Aokigahara suicide forest and decided “I should show this to everyone on my vlog. Suicide is bad, kids. Lol, look at this guy being all dead and stuff!” Well, much like when PewDiePie hired people to say a bunch of anti-semitic stuff, YouTube decided that it wasn’t going to blow over quickly enough to keep advertisers from giving them less money, so they sprang into action.

An open letter to our community:

Many of you have been frustrated with our lack of communication recently. You’re right to be. You deserve to know what's going on.

— YouTube (@YouTube) January 9, 2018

Yay, an open letter. If you don’t want to read the entire Twitter thread that follows that tweet, I’ll give you the condensed version. “At no point did we, YouTube, do anything wrong. We’re completely ignoring the fact that the 6 million views this video got made both us and Logan Paul more money in advertising than the average American makes in a calendar year. We have assured our advertisers that they won’t feel any repercussions from this, we’re pinning this all the 20-something dunderhead we relentless promoted and gave absolutely no editorial oversight to. We’re going to do something to make sure this never happens again, which is probably going to end up being like when Twitter cracked down on Nazis by verifying Richard Spencer and banning anyone who says a swear to a brand.”

YouTube also kicked Logan Paul out of the “Google Preferred” advertising program, which means he’ll make somewhat less money, and they’ve fired him from the YouTube Red shows that he was appearing on, which means nothing because I’m willing to bet you didn’t even know YouTube Red was still a thing. It’s the equivalent of telling someone “You’ll never get a show on MyNetworkTV again! Your show on CBS is basically fine, though. Ad rates are down a bit, but you’re still on after NCIS: Cleveland.”

Man, remember when YouTube was just people auto-tuning the news and that dramatic hamster video? I miss that. I would very much rather listen to the hamster’s opinions than Logan Paul’s. That hamster has seen some s**t, man. It’s been through the wars. It has opinions and the world needs to hear them.