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20 Years Later, The Spice Girls Are Reuniting For More Than The Early Bird Special at Country Kitchen Buffet

The musican reunion we’ve all been waiting for since 2009 might finally be happening. No, it’s not the Traveling Wilburys jamming together in hell; Bob Dylan is thankfully still alive. So is Jeff Lynne. No one actually asked about Jeff Lynne, but he wanted me to mention his name. He’s spent the last thirty years being referred to as “the other one,” essentially the Sporty Spice of the Traveling Wilburys. Oh yeah, the Spice Girls are reuniting.

Victoria Beckham posted this picture of the group all together to her Instagram. I feel like they’re going to need new Spice code names, because “Baby” and “Sexy” aren’t really applicable anymore. How about “Aunt Linda’s ‘Special Friend’ Spice,” “So Unbearably Posh I Vote Tory Spice,” “Dawn From The Office Spice,” “Botox Spice” and “Jeff Lynne Spice.”

Beckham also posted this second picture of the band with Simon Fuller, the group’s manager and the creator of Pop Idol, which was brought stateside as American Idol. I just have to say, if you told me in 1997 that the Spice Girls would be reuniting 20 years later, I wouldn’t have cared even a little bit. But if you’d have told me that when they did, Melanie Chisholm would be the hot one, I would have been sure you were lying and wouldn’t have heeded your other warnings like “buy Bitcoin, but make sure you sell it before it crashes again” or “tell Hillary Clinton to campaign in Wisconsin.”

Okay, so the Spice Girls aren’t going to tour or do a new album or anything. According to The Sun, Victoria Beckham only agreed to the reunion under he condition that she wouldn’t have to sing. The reunion will involve edorsements, a greatest hits album, a televised talent show (I’m assuming something like Pop Idol) and possibly television in China, who are just now getting around to the 1990’s.

Personally, I don’t see how they can reunite without doing a sequel to Spice World. Where is the Spice Girls Cinematic Universe? Spin-offs for each Spice Girl, a Simon Fuller solo film, all culminating in… well, I don’t know what, but I’m sure it’ll be better than Justice League.

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