Add Christie Brinkley to the List of People Trump Tried to Cheat on His Wife With

You know what one of President Trump’s favorite things to do is? Have sex with women who aren’t his wife. He’s always married and he’s always having sex with women who aren’t his wife. He’s like a serial monogamist only without the monogamy. Christie Brinkley told Page Six about the time he tried to get her into the sack while he was married to Ivana. She’s lucky this was before he was president because if he considers not clapping at his speech to be treason, then I can only imagine what the punishment for not fucking him is.

She said, “My phone rings and this guy goes, ‘Hey, Christie, it’s The Donald.’ I say, ‘Hi, Billy,’ because I was dating Billy [Joel] at the time. But the voice goes, ‘No, no. It’s The Donald! … I hear you’re leaving for Aspen tomorrow. I am too. I’d like to give you a ride on my private jet.’”

I’ll tell you one thing, calling someone trying to bone you the wrong name is a classic power move. It kind of makes me wonder if Billy Joel does an impression of Donald Trump, though.

Brinkley continued, “So I reply, ‘Thank you, but I have already arranged my flights.’ I knew he was married, and there he was asking me to go on his plane. He was kind of flirty about it. He was out chasing skirts.”

“Chasing skirts” is such a grandmother thing to say. Which is a reminder that this probably happened in the 80s, because Trump divorced Ivana in 1992. It’s kind of endearing to hear about what Trump was like way back when he could still get an erection.

She added, “I’m done being discreet. I’ve had dinner with him. I’ve always found him smarmy, as in, ‘Watch out, part the waves, the rich people are coming, everything is gold, solid 24-carat gold, the best, the greatest, nobody else has more gold on anything in their house than me. Did you bring a brush? Let’s gold-leaf it!’ ”

Yeah, Trump wants that gold toilet. You know he does. He’s trying to find a way to spin it so it looks like he’s being honored, but he totally wants to s**t in a gold toilet while he’s tweeting from his rose gold iPhone.