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Bravo Makes Stars Promise Not to Sue If They Get STDs From Slutting Around

Remember when Bravo used to have operas and jazz music and stage productions of Shakespeare? Well, now the cable channel launched as a service for high-brow entertainment and the arts has to have its reality TV stars sign a waiver in case they get herpes from all the fucking they do while recording their shows. Yeah, that’s how far the bar has been lowered, we’ve gone from The Marriage of Figaro to The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills.

I’m sure the story, which was reported by Page Six, will lead to either slut-shaming or accusations of slut-shaming, so let me just say that I don’t know why we act like being a slut is bad to begin with. I’ve never gone to a concert to see someone who’s never played the piano. The way you get good at things is to practice them.

So even though they’re not going to be in Pagliacci, Bravo is still full of clowns who spend all day practicing their trade all over each other. So the network makes them sign a contract that says, and I’m paraphrasing here, “If your nasty junk falls off, that’s on you.” Seems smart, you don’t want someone coming after you just because you happened to be filming them when they got gonoherpasyphilaids from Vanderpumping each other all day. Apparently it’s pretty standard in the industry.

ABC has previously revealed that it tests contestants on its long-running dating shows “The Bachelor” and “The Bachelorette” for STDs. Those shows make the 50 finalists for spots in the competition get screened for sexual diseases.

Hey, there you go, if you’re on The Bachelor, feel fee to rawdog it. It’s like a porn set. A straight porn set. Bravo plays by gay porn rules, so you need to wrap it up over there.

It seems that Bravo’s hit “Vanderpump Rules” is a particular hotbed of disease because of its particularly hot beds.

In 2015, one of the show’s stars, James Kennedy, called co-star Jax Taylor — who has slept with a number of the women on the show — a “dirty, dirty boy” on Bravo’s “Watch What Happens Live” and added, “It’s called herpes!”

Taylor denied the accusation in a Reddit “Ask Me Anything” interview.

This is some of the least surprising news I’ve ever heard. If you take away the wine-throwing, most reality TV is just a Showtime softcore porno that cuts away when the humping starts.

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