Elon Musk Couldn’t Get Laid At An Orgy
Of all the things I’ve heard about tiny sad-sack billionaire Elon Musk, maybe my favorite is the time he went to an orgy and no one started fucking until he left. Page Six had an excerpt from Emily Chang’s book Brotopia that claims Musk “appears wearing a black armor-like costume adorned with silver spikes and chains” in private pictures from the party.
That’s the picture they’re talking about, by the way. The interesting thing is Musk found out about the party at the last minute, yet he had that outfit in his closet.
Theoretically, Chang’s book is about the boys’ club in Silicon Valley and the way women are excluded, but all anyone really wants to talk about is how Elon Musk literally couldn’t get laid at an orgy. While we’re just finding out he dressed up like a Frank Frazetta S&M painting for the orgy, it came out about a month ago that he attended, and he claimed he didn’t know it was an orgy, and Tesla gave the following statement to Business Insider:
“Elon was at the party for a couple hours and left around 1am after talking with several DFJ-funded entrepreneurs about technology and building companies. His impression was that it was a corporate party with a costume theme, not a ‘sex party’, and there was no indication that it would become one after he left. “
First hint that it wasn’t a sex party is Elon Musk was there. Twitter agreed that Musk’s explaination was entirely reasonable, because he’s exactly the kind of dork who would go to an orgy and not know it’s an orgy.
An Eyes Wide Shut-esque orgy at a sleek Silicon Valley compound, Elon Musk in the corner fucking a light socket.
— crisp mattman (@cushbomb) January 11, 2018
I find the idea of Elon Musk excitedly discussing his gigafactory expansion while failing to notice the depraved orgy happening on a nearby couch amusing
— stephen judkins (@stephenjudkins) January 12, 2018
I mean, it does fit with what we know about Elon Musk. He’s a huge nerd who sent a car to Mars and sits around waiting for Amber Heard to call him. Of course he wouldn’t realize he’s at an orgy.