Melania Trump Allegedly Had an Exorcism in the White House, But It Failed to Get Rid of the Fat S**t Demon in Her Bed

You know, it’s kind of a tradition for the First Lady of the United States to have some crazy beliefs that the rest of might think are nonsense. Nancy Reagan used to host seances in the White House, Barbara Bush said The Simpsons was the dumbest thing she had ever seen, Michelle Obama thought she could get Americans to eat healthy and Hillary Clinton thought she could be president. So it’s not really a surprise that the current first lady, Melania Trump, allegedly has her own crazy beliefs and ordered a full exorcism of the White House before she would move in.

This news, reported by The Daily Dot, was relayed by a right-wing pastor and radio host named Paul Begley.

“The first lady, in that five hours when the Obamas and the Trumps went down to the Capitol and Trump was being sworn in as the 45th president of the United States,” Begley claimed, “Melania Trump said to her husband, ‘I’m not going to go into that White House unless it has been completely exorcised.’”

Begley said that the first lady requested the exorcism because when the Obamas lived at the White House, “all kinds of idol gods and images and all kinds of artifacts in there that were demonic.”

Okay, so I don’t actually believe any of this is true. The Obamas aren’t some kind of pagan devil worshipers, they’ve spent way more time in Christian churches in their life than Donald Trump has in his. And if Barack Obama had some sort of demonic idol in the White House, it would have been the top story on Fox News from the time someone noticed it until sometime in 2027.

The far-right has been beating this weird “New World Order Alex Jones Pizzagate Obama Demons Spirit Cooking” nonsense conspiracy for ages. The only people practicing the occult in the White House that anyone knows about is their beloved Saint Reagan, who, as I mentioned before, held seances with his wife Nancy, who also hired astrologer Joan Quigley to help schedule President Reagan’s appointments.

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