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Cate Blanchett and Sandra Bullock Have Been Getting Penis Facials at Upscale New York Atelier

According to legend, Elizabeth Báthory was a Hungarian noble who murdered hundreds of girls and young women in order to bathe in their blood to maintain her own youth. I just wanted you to know there are worse ways to keep your skin tight when I told you Sandra Bullock took Cate Blanchett to get a facial made of Korean baby foreskins. I wish I was kidding or even exaggerating, but I’m not. Here’s the details, via Page Six.

“Sandy [Sandra] Bullock and I saw this facialist in New York, Georgia Louise, and she gives what we call the penis facial and it’s something — I don’t know what it is, or whether it’s just ’cause it smells a bit like sperm — there’s some enzyme in it, so Sandy refers to it as the penis facial,” Blanchett said.

That “enzyme” Cate is talking about is called EGF, or epidermal growth factor, and it’s a protein that helps cell growth. Here’s how it gets smeared on Sandy B’s face:

The EGF Hollywood Facial includes a cleanse, an intensive TCA peel, as well as an electrifying mask for calming the skin. As described on Louise’s official website, the facial uses an epidermal growth factor serum “derived from the progenitor cells of the human fibroblast taken from Korean newborn baby foreskin.” It claims to help develop collagen and elastin.

Yeah, okay. Baby foreskin juice, seems legit. How many people are going to get arrested because they can’t afford the $650 fee for the “penis facial” and just rub an infant’s genitals on their face? I’m hoping zero, but if you’d have asked me how many people would get $650 facials made from baby foreskins in the first place, I’d have also said zero. Of course, I’ve heard of crazier beauty treatments, but they’re few and far between, this is Angelina Jolie-level crazy.

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