Russia Gonna Let You Bring Weed, Coke, and Heroin to the World Cup

If you plan on attending the World Cup this July, but are worried about what to do with your drugs, you’re in luck.

According to The Moscow Times, you can bring your weed, cocaine, and heroin with you. Sure, you have to fill out 20 pages worth of paperwork and you’ll probably get jumped for your drugs, but it’s totally worth it if your team loses and you need something to make you feel better.

In order to bring your drugs into Russia, all you need a doctor’s note written in Russian. That should not be too hard. Plenty of doctors know perfect Russian and will write you a script for medical cocaine and heroin.

Law officers will be at the stadium to make sure all documentation checks out. Your heroin and blow are legal. But don’t you dare try to smoke a cigarette inside the stadium.

The World Cup is set to take place from June 14 to July 15. It’s the biggest and most rowdiest time of the year for soccer fans. Allowing weed and heroin will at least mellow them out.

The news comes shortly after it was discovered that Argentina was attempting to flood Russia with cocaine during the World Cup. According to The Mirror, 850 pounds of coke were found in 16 pieces of luggage heading to Russia. The goal was to put so much cocaine on the black market during the Wold Cup, that soccer fans would become even more obnoxious. The police sniffed out the plot, replaced the coke with flour, and eventually caught the criminals.

God bless the Russians. Instead of fans paying triple the price for coke on the black market, they can just bring their own. This is truly progressive thinking.

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