Sean Penn Went on Colbert Full of Ambien, No One Could Tell the Difference

In what I can only assume was an attempt to keep him from punching a bunch of people on the face before he went on the air, Sean Penn showed up for a taping of The Late Show with Stephen Colbert still high on Ambien from the flight, which led Colbert to ask him how you can tell the difference between Sean Penn and Sean Penn on Ambien. The answer is he only punches every third person who asks for an autograph.

My assumption is Colbert’s reaction to Sean Penn showing up to his show high was a lot like Conan O’Brien’s reaction to Tracy Jordan falling asleep on Late Night in one of the first episodes of 30 Rock; “He’s asleep, which is okay, because at least he didn’t murder me.”

I think the big surprise of the interview was Penn saying he prefers writing to acting because he doesn’t have to collaborate with people, saying “It’s all about where you engage in an expression creatively, one way or another, and the greatest thing that an actor can bring to the party is to play well with others, it’s the collaboration. I increasingly don’t play well with others.” This is like Mia Khalifa saying “I’ve had sex once or twice.”

Penn also elicited laughs when he pulled out a pack of cigarettes and started smoking, which is a major taboo for television networks today. Colbert had an ashtray and a lecture ready for Penn, probably the only reason the interview made it to air. Penn described his smoking as “job security for oncologists.”

One of the highlights of the interview was when Penn complained about the amount of content being produced, and Colbert mentioned Netflix’s goal of producing 700 new TV series this year. Penn replied “And probably paying off settlements for years,” and when Colbert asked him what he meant, Penn just cryptically replied “Maybe we should move on.”

Considering he was married to Robin Wright, my guess is he’s talking about how Netflix let Kevin Spacey wag his pickle at interns for years on the set of House of Cards.

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