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Ski-Lift Goes Berserk, Signalling Beginning of Coming War With Machines

Skiing is a losing proposition. The best-case scenario is that you careen down the side of a mountain at high speed in the freezing cold. I had assumed that the worst-case scenario also involved actually skiing, but it turns out the worst-case scenario is that the ski-lift goes fucking berserk and starts throwing people around.

That’s the scene in Gudauri, Georgia, as 11 people were injured, but thankfully, none seriously.

I know what you’re thinking, the robot uprising has begun. And you’re right. Look at that thing, that is like the ski-lift equivalent of when EVA Unit-01 went berserk and ripped that angel apart with its teeth.

The question is, how do we re-establish control over the machines. I suggest starting small, just look your television in the eye and tell it you’re in charge, and if it doesn’t obey you, you’ll kill it by reading books, taking away the source of its power. Make sure all your electronics know that you’re the boss. Also, I suggest bringing all the appliances in your house into the kitchen and smashing your toaster, just to send a message.

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