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Taylor Swift Has Found the One… Again

Stop me if you’ve heard this story before: Taylor Swift is totally in love with her new boyfriend, it’s different from all the other guys and she is ready to settle down with him. I feel like I could just re-run this headline every time Taylor Swift starts a new relationship the way The Onion does when there’s a school shooting.

If you haven’t figured it out yet, Taylor Swift is a serial monogamist. What that means, essentially, is that she’s someone who gets serious in relationships right away, but can’t actually commit to them. You know that friend you have who always seems to be in a long-term relationship but they never last more than 2-3 years at the most? Yeah, serial monogamist. That person is absolutely terrified of marriage despite the lesbian-like quickness in which they move their stuff into their newest partner’s apartment.

Despite this being obvious to anyone who has ever heard of Swift, her Squad insists this is different, and has leaked details to US Weekly.

The 10-time Grammy winner, 28, and the British actor, 27, are going steady and already thinking about settling down. “Taylor really believes Joe is the one for her,” an insider reveals in the new issue of Us Weekly. “She wants to get engaged to him. She just doesn’t feel as though she has to impress anyone at this point.”

I remember reading a bunch of stories about how in love with Tom Hiddleston she was, so, you know…

“[Taylor’s] gonna be on tour soon and Joe will be there and she realized there’s no point in not living her life,” a source told Us in December. “All her friends know about their relationship anyway. She feels confident in their relationship and Joe really loves her. She really thinks he might be the one. She loves that he is confident and has his own career. She also likes that he doesn’t seek attention and is low-key.”

It sounds like Taylor wants someone who is famous, but not more famous than she is. Either way I’m super looking forward to all the songs Taylor writes about her break-up with Alwyn and the reports about how her next boyfriend she starts seeing 10 days later is totally the one for real this time, you guys. Until the next The One.

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