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Taylor Swift Has Found the One… Again

Stop me if you’ve heard this story before: Taylor Swift is totally in love with her new boyfriend, it’s different from all the other guys and she is ready to settle down with him. I feel like I could just re-run this headline every time Taylor Swift starts a new relationship the way The Onion does when there’s a school shooting.

If you haven’t figured it out yet, Taylor Swift is a serial monogamist. What that means, essentially, is that she’s someone who gets serious in relationships right away, but can’t actually commit to them. You know that friend you have who always seems to be in a long-term relationship but they never last more than 2-3 years at the most? Yeah, serial monogamist. That person is absolutely terrified of marriage despite the lesbian-like quickness in which they move their stuff into their newest partner’s apartment.

Despite this being obvious to anyone who has ever heard of Swift, her Squad insists this is different, and has leaked details to US Weekly.

The 10-time Grammy winner, 28, and the British actor, 27, are going steady and already thinking about settling down. “Taylor really believes Joe is the one for her,” an insider reveals in the new issue of Us Weekly. “She wants to get engaged to him. She just doesn’t feel as though she has to impress anyone at this point.”

I remember reading a bunch of stories about how in love with Tom Hiddleston she was, so, you know…

“[Taylor’s] gonna be on tour soon and Joe will be there and she realized there’s no point in not living her life,” a source told Us in December. “All her friends know about their relationship anyway. She feels confident in their relationship and Joe really loves her. She really thinks he might be the one. She loves that he is confident and has his own career. She also likes that he doesn’t seek attention and is low-key.”

It sounds like Taylor wants someone who is famous, but not more famous than she is. Either way I’m super looking forward to all the songs Taylor writes about her break-up with Alwyn and the reports about how her next boyfriend she starts seeing 10 days later is totally the one for real this time, you guys. Until the next The One.

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17 Comments on "MET Costume Institute Gala 2016"

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gem2477
Guest

Nah. The song is so immature and outright stupid that Kanye is probably somewhere laughing his ass off.

Thao Truong
Guest

dont be jealous…that song basically says it all. its genius…how else is it breaking record…if it sucked then everyone would say so….revenge comes in everyway and she got hers by being top of the list…lets see all her haters get there like taylor did. NOTTTT

gem2477
Guest

She could have released a track of her farting and it’d be #1. With her, that’s not a good demonstration of if it being a good song.

BigJimSlade
Guest

It’s genius? It’s not even music.
This generic crap wouldn’t have managed to be a B-side on a Madonna single 20 years ago.

I made that bitch famous
Guest
I made that bitch famous

Oh come on, nobody is jealous of her. Who wants to be a mean Swift pussy to be number one? Only she would.

earlharbeson
Guest

Funny, She sold out 5 nights at the Staple Center for 1989 which seated a total of 86,000 people, She has sold 120,000 tickets in the Rose Bowl so far for the “Reputation”. I doubt he is laughing to loud, he made $31,745,967 on his Saint Pablo Tour, she sold $180,000,000 worth of tickets the first week.

AussieDan
Guest

Remember when Taylor wrote poppy country songs…?

Shawn Cicero
Guest

wow people are nutty stalkers

Mithrull
Guest

Pretend to like her fans? Bwhahahahahahaha you are fucking pathetic.

Moise
Guest

who the hell are you guys? no names, just jealous of her fame and success. But who can blame you? You do this for green.

Sinead McGowan
Guest

ooooh Taylor’s army

Atomic Rat
Guest

oh my fucking god !!!!!!

she’s so existential… she’s so multidimensional… she’s so fucking awesomely…. banal and pedantic.

So you really don’t have to have anything one the ball other than a good PR firm and a fair agent to be a success as a pop star.

I didn’t believe them. It’s still hard to believe.

Larry
Guest

That girl is too high maintenance and a loon.

Atomic Rat
Guest

Sailor Twit – the rally face of the nazi generation.

Nice one. The one trick pony and the goosesteppers.

Sieg Heil, frau Taylor. I see you’re on to your next crossover genre.

Not Telling
Guest

The only racist here is you. It consumes you to the point of you making retarded comments like this.

jay
Guest

“Except, anyone can join. Even if they are not, wait for it, fans of Taylor.” How would a phone app know whether or not someone is a fan of Taylor Swift? What’s it going to do, read all your archived text messages to see if you talk about Miss Swift with your friends and determine if you said positive or negative things about her?

Perry de Havilland
Guest

“Taylor has been criticized by just about everyone for not speaking for or against Trump”

Yeah Taylor is missing a beat here, I mean we all just *love* to be lectured by sage-like showbiz celebrities about politics, right?

me
Guest

1/3rd of the country supports being mean and fueling drama, while the other 2/3rds has had enough. So Taylor’s drama filled, passive aggressive, mean girl behavior is no longer tolerated by most. Most of us had enough of Taylor & people like her.

Thai Wu
Guest

No doubt she will sell out if her rich father and rich close business connections buy them up to save her REPUTATION.

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