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Tomi Lahren Used to Be as Ugly on the Outside as She Is on the Inside

Female Glenn Beck impersonator Tomi Lahren is such a terrible person that she couldn’t even stop screeching about immigrants long enough to screech about school shooting survivors wanting there to finally be some meaningful controls on guns like the rest of the world has.

It’s not a coincidence that she pushes these two issues together like this, it’s what known in political circles as a “dog whistle”. The implication here is that if the bad liberals take your guns you’ll be at the mercy of those “bad hombres” from Mexico. She doesn’t want to just come out and say “immigrants will do crimes if you take away my right to be a pretend army man” because it’s insane and it’s easily provable that immigrants, even undocumented immigrants, are less likely to commit a crime than American citizens and guns don’t really do anything to protect you, the person you’re most likely to shoot in your home is yourself or a member of your family. So you speak in code words, like how George Bush never said Iraq was behind 9/11 but he kept saying the words “Iraq” and “9/11” in the same sentence in the run-up to the Iraq war.

Turns out Tomi Lahren pobably learned a thing or two about dog whistles when she was younger and hadn’t yet nipped and tucked her way to Fox News, because someone found a picture of her from her local newspaper when she was a senior in high school.

Wow. She might have still had a career on Fox News ahead of her, though, because she kind of looks like Bill O’Reilly in that picture. I would definitely not want to have falafel with her.

I guess the racism factory wasn’t hiring that summer.

I can’t take my eyes off of that forehead. It’s like… a vast, unknowable ocean of pale holding back the crashing waves of ignorance.

I think the best part of this meme is that the last Tomi Lahren meme, where she stuffed a gun in her yoga pants in what can only be described as an attempt to blow her vagina off, hasn’t even passed yet.

I don’t even know why Tomi Lahren is this crazy. At least Laura Ingraham has the excuse that she slept with Keith Olbermann. The only explanation I can think of is that her gigantic forehead is actually some sort of alien mind control parasite, but the aliens accidentally used a defective one.

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JerryD
JerryD
6 years ago

I honestly feel dead insinde after reading this article. It literally reduced my IQ to half. I can’t wrap my head around the fact that someone actually invested his or her (or more likely “xis”) time to write something like that.

And I don’t even know who that woman on those pictures is.

Mike
Mike
6 years ago

Gee Eric you’re such a misogynist and bigot. But then I expect that from a liberal.

Watson N. Crick
Watson N. Crick
6 years ago

This piece is crap.

Bill Murphy
Bill Murphy
6 years ago

Garbage article for half-wits.

Robert
Robert
6 years ago

how do you blow off a vagina? I understand if it was externally, but internally? maybe you failed biology or you are a homosexual never had the feel of one and dont know anything about a woman’s anatomy….
s for plastic surgery hows that sex realignment coming along..
you know the one that makes you into a bigger dick..

Ashke
Ashke
6 years ago

Ummmm why……