People Are Smartly Refusing to Listen to Taylor Swift’s Earth, Wind & Fire Cover

I don’t know who decided that maudlin, stripped-down covers of up-tempo classic songs were a good idea, but I hope he goes deaf and loses the ability to play a musical instument.

Oh, too soon? You know he wrote that song about his best friend’s wife, right? Next time just lock the window and spare us 20 years of Phil Collins bullshit.

The latest person do one of these depressing covers of a great song is Taylor Swift, who decided that what Earth, Wind & Fire’s classic “September” needed was banjos. Seriously.

Jesus Christ, why don’t you just dig up Maurice White and punch him in the dick while you’re at it? I made it through about 30 seconds of that and I had start playing the original just to avoid stabbing myself in the ears.

Yeah, that’s the stuff. See how that’s fun to listen to listen to and makes you smile instead of being a chore? That’s what makes that song good, Taylor. Just break up with Joe Alwyn and write some new original songs to save us from accidentally playing this on a jukebox after a few beers in five years.

I’m not the only person who hates this song, though.

Y'all have to stop saying Taylor Swift "covered" anything. She did bad karaoke. Let's move on.

— Mikki Kendall (@Karnythia) April 13, 2018

That Taylor Swift cover of "September" sounds like housing discrimination

— Zito (@_Zeets) April 13, 2018

Taylor Swift: Hey guys listen to me cover an Earth Wind & Fire song!

Black twitter: pic.twitter.com/ZUEelzsmtw

— originally HAVE Digital (@thisishave) April 13, 2018

Some people didn’t listen to Swift’s cover at all. Here at The Blemish, we call those people “the lucky ones”.

Taylor Swift really had no business covering Earth, Wind & Fire’s “September.” I didn’t listen and I won’t. Just know that she had no business.

— ᴅᴏʟʟᴀʀ (@DollarBeKnowing) April 13, 2018

Of course, Taylor Swift has her defenders, too.

Funny how everyone is against bullying until it comes to Taylor Swift and then it suddenly becomes okay

— eve got bitten (@stayinlavender) April 13, 2018

Come on, I said way meaner things about Eric Clapton in this article, and I actually like him. Hell, even Quincy Jones likes him.

Don’t talk bad about Taylor swift. It hurts my feelings more than if you were to hate on me, personally.

— hannah is clutching her pearls (@hannnahkristine) April 13, 2018

Yes, my personal aesthetic is tying my self worth to defending millionaire celebrities who are getting dunked on Twitter, too.

You’ve given me a lot to think about, EnchantedSwift7. Like who EnchantedSwift1 through 6 are and what they’re doing with their lives.