I’m Sorry, You Can’t Have Sex With The ‘Lost in Space’ Robot

The latest pop culture footnote from someone’s childhood to be remade into a slick and somewhat generic modern prestige series is Lost in Space, the classic 1960s series about the space-faring Robinson family, their robot, named The Robot, and the weird pedophile that follows them around and tries to spoil their plans of not dying in the cold inky darkness of the Milky Way.

The remake updated The Robot from its old design, which looked a bit like a walking version of the exhaust hose that connects to the back of your dryer, to a new design, which looks like a tank that does squats.

Of course, the Internet has noticed this, and despite the fact that The Robot is entirely CGI, a bunch of Twitter users look at at and said “yeah, I’d f**k that robot,” a fact that did not escape Netflix, which airs the program.

Sure, it’s perfectly normal for people to say how hot the robot from Lost in Space is but you start talking about Asuka Langley Soryu being your waifu and everyone thinks you’re a freak and tells you to go back to 4chan.

Personally, I think this is the end result of people talking to their phones like they’re people. Oh, you don’t think I should be rude to Alexa? Well I have news for you, Alexa isn’t a person and you’re masturbating to a cartoon robot. At least I have the decency to masturbate to cartoon people. Now, the day is coming where we will be able to have sex with robots, but until they work the kinks out of it, I’m going to stick to humans. And anime characters. Okay, mostly anime characters. Okay, just Narumi-chan.

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