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Miley Cyrus Spent the Night Before the Met Gala Sleeping in a Pool of Her Own Vomit

I’m going to be honest, I never thought I’d be writing a story about how Miley Cyrus spent the night sleeping a pool of her own vomit. One of the fundamental principles of journalism is that “Man Bites Dog” is a headline, and this story seems very “Dog Bites Man” to me. But then again, I’m not a journalist, I’m a humorist, and everything Miley Cyrus does is pretty funny.

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I guess the first thing I noticed about Miley’s dress is that the theme of the event was “Heavenly Bodies: Fashion and the Catholic Imagination,” not “Look at My Buttcrack: The Modern Day Beverly Hillbillies.” She obviously told designer Stella McCartney she was gong for a “sexy, upscale Larry the Cable Guy” look.

Miley has grown up so fast, it seems like just yesterday she was dry-humping her father on the cover of Vanity Fair. But according to Page Six, Cyrus was overheard saying she almost didn’t make the Met Gala because she passed out in her own vomit the night before.

“Miley was later joking to friends inside the event that she had wanted to skip it,” said a source. “She said that she’d gone out the night before and drank too much — and then she ate Indian food.”

The former Disney star colorfully cracked that, as a result, she ended up “sleeping in a pool of my own vomit,” a Met Gala spy said.

Honestly, I’m surprised to hear about the times Miley Cyrus doesn’t wake up in a pool of her own vomit. She always kind of looks she may have slept in her own vomit the night before.

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