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Fly Frontier Air, the Seat-Pissingest, Dog-Punchingest Airline There Is!

Dear tweets about how disgusted you are someone on an airplane took their shoes off: you are like a little baby, you know nothing about the real world. You’ve just become the equivalent of people complaining about how people used to dress up to fly and now they wear sweatpants.

This sea-change in what we’re willing to listen to you complain about on your flight is brought to you by Michael Allen Haag, who broke new ground by just pulling his dick out and pissing on the seat in front of him. Which was occupied. I’ll bet you’re willing to sit in front of the five-year-old kicking the seat now, aren’t you? Seems a little more bearable in comparison to getting pissed on by a drunk jackass, doesn’t it?

Even United Airlines passengers have the decency to pee in a cup.

He also tried to feel up the woman seated next to him, first by touching her fingers, then her legs. Flight attendants moved him to a different part of the plane, where he did his seat-pissing. Crying baby doesn’t seem like the worst thing in the world anymore, does it?

This incident occurred on Frontier Airlines, an airline where just a few days ago a guy punched a dog. Which seems like a very extreme reaction to the dog, which annoyed him by taking up too much space. He also punched the dog’s owner, a pregnant deaf woman. Of course, the dog and the woman both lived through the flight, so it beats flying United, I guess.

Frontier Airlines’ motto is “Low Fares Done Right,” which I wouldn’t have thought meant seat-pissing and dog-punching, but here we are. This is our world now. Personally, I’m not doing any more travel until someone invents a teleporter, or, at the very least, a flying car. Of course, someone will probably piss in the teleporter, too.

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Who let drunk Walter White on a plane?

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