ESC

If You’re Named Crystal Methvin, It’s Obvious What’s Gonna Happen

A woman named Crystal Methvin has been arrested for….crystal meth. She never really had a chance, did she? The arrest happened in Florida because of course something like this would happen in Florida.

According to News 4 Jax, an anonymous call was made to the police. When they arrived, they found three people sitting in a car in a parking lot off South Dixie Highway. Police searched the car and found drug paraphernalia and a substance that field tested positive for crystal meth.

Douglas Nickerson was also arrested, but no one cares about him because Doug Nickersons are not illegal in America. Yet.

If you know someone named after a drug, send an anonymous tip to the police.

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