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Johnny Depp Looks Like a Cancer Patient for Some Reason

I don’t know what’s going on with Johnny Depp, but he looks like he’s preparing for a starring role in Freddie Mercury: The Later Years.

At the Museum of #Mayakovsky in #Moscow

A post shared by Johnny Depp (@johnnydeppofficial) on

The Pirates of the Caribbean star appears to have been drinking from the same fountain of aging that Jet Li was bathing in. A lot of stars are starting to age like that Dick Clark Far Side comic for some reason.

To top it off, Depp is in Russia, so it’s impossible to rule out polonium poisoning being the cause of his condition.

The Daily Mail talked to an expert who says the reason Depp looks like the bubble boy is simply because we’re not used to seeing him without makeup.

And celebrity make-up artist and owner of Pouts & Pinups Stacey Whittaker told Femail that ditching his signature smokey eye has had a huge impact on Depp’s face.

‘Usually Johnny Depp has a cool grunge style, however here he is not sporting his signature smudged guy-liner, which makes his eyes appear smaller,’ she explained.

‘Dark eyes can look harsh as we get older, but Depp’s normal sultry looking eye would never overpower his face and would actually give him more definition and colour.

‘Without his attention-grabbing guy-liner it makes his eyes seem tired and dull, and his skin extremely pale, whereas liner would brighten and bring out the whites of the eye.’

Honestly I can believe that. Makeup covers a lot of flaws, and seeing someone without for the first time could be this extreme. Do you remember the time the Today hosts did the entire show without makeup? Matt Lauer looked like he belonged on some kind of sex offender registry. Okay, maybe that’s a bad example. But Hoda Kotb looked like a painting in the Crypt Keeper’s attic that was aging so he could stay so young and vibrant.

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