Watch This White Woman Run Away and Hide While She Calls the Cops on an 8-Year-Old Black Girl

Being white, I’ve seen white people do a lot of stupid things in my time. For example, NASCAR, a sport which takes all the excitement of Formula 1 racing and strips it away until it’s just cars with speed limiters driving in a circle for three hours. You know a horse race has all the excitement of a NASCAR race but only takes about three minutes, right? This year we even had a Triple Crown winner as Justified swept the Kentucky Derby, the Preakness and the Belmont Stakes. See, you can still be super white and not be bored to tears.

But perhaps the dumbest thing white people have been doing is calling the police on black children selling water without a permit. Yes, an adult woman felt so threatened by an 8-year-old girl selling water from a cooler across the street from a baseball game.

Look at that bitch run and hide, then act like she’s super brave and standing up for truth, justice and the American way once she realizes everyone’s going to see her dumb racist face anyway. Just think about what the consequences would be if she wasn’t there, this 8-year-old might have sold water to thirsty people! Can you imagine the breakdown in society if this were allowed to continue?

I joke, but it’s important to remember that water is a gateway beverage, and it can lead to harder drinks like lemonade, cola and even fruit juices. It’s a good thing we have this woman leading the fight against these children and holding the line against pandemonium.

So what does this nosey asshole do for a living, anyway? I need to know what kind of person is so threatened by the sight of an 8-year-old black girl that she has to call the police. It turns out she sells weed to dogs because of course she does.

Ah, 2018, when a drug dealer calls the cops on a child’s lemonade stand to uphold law and order. I think I’d rather live in the Logan’s Run future than the dystopic future we live in now. At least there I’d be dead and wouldn’t have to see this kind of nonsense. Even Brave New World promised I could just take some soma and forget about how stupid this world is.

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