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Virginia Congressional Candidate Is Into ‘Bigfoot Erotica’

Finally there’s some news about a political campaign setting aside mudslinging and focusing on the issues that matter, like whether or not you should jack it to Sasquatch. I know this issue is on the minds of every voter I know, and Leslie Cockburn (D) has taken to Twitter to point out that her opponent in the race for Virginia’s 5th congressional district, Denver Riggleman (R), supports a person’s right to choose to jack off to Sasquatch porn.

That second picture, that’s Denver Riggleman with his own head posted on Bigfoot’s body, which seems like the kind of sexual boast Riggleman absolutely cannot back up.

The claim that Riggleman was campaigning with a white supremacist is also true, Riggleman campaigned with Isaac Smith, one of the people behind last year’s “Unite the Right” rally in Charlottesville where a self-described Nazi murdered protester Heather Heyer when he drove his car into a crowd of people. I have a feeling Riggleman is mostly cranking it to the Abominable Snowman and not one of those yeti with brown fur that lives out in the Midwest. Allegedly. Probably.

I believe that Bigfoot racism is one of the most pressing issues facing our nation as we go into the midterms, and that Riggleman needs to answer his constituents about his feelings on interracial Sasquatch dating. Sasquatch love doesn’t see color, Mister Riggleman. Mister Riggleman, I served with Bigfoot. I knew Bigfoot. Bigfoot was a friend of mine. Sir, you’re no Bigfoot.

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