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Nikki Bella Can’t Masturbate Without Picturing John Cena on Top of Amy Schumer

Nikki Bella and John Cena are still working on their relationship. As of this writing, they are currently “friends.” Two hours from now, they might be married. You never know.

One thing we do know, thanks to a recent episode of Total Bellas (via Entertainment Tonight) is that Nikki was none too pleased with her man screwing Amy Schumer in Trainwreck.

“Imagine watching your man do a sex scene and have the whole world see his big butt,” she explained. “You know, you get visuals. I swear, I couldn’t masturbate forever because I just think of the sex scene.”

That’s why porn was invented, Nikki. So you don’t have to think about those things when you masturbate. You just watch other people having the sex you wish you were having.

At the time, Cena admitted to Conan O’Brien that he was never comfortable telling Nikki about the scene.

“So, I got it. And I couldn’t say no. So I kind of walked in one day and was like, ‘Hey, I’m kind of just doing this,’ and that was the wrong approach.

“[Instead of asking] It was more like a forgiveness thing and, note to all you guys out there, that’s a bad approach.”

Maybe Nikki’s inability to get herself off has less to do with imagining Cena bang another woman and more to do with the pain she felt about him not asking for permission. Nah. That couldn’t be it.

Earlier this season on Total Bellas, Nikki admitted to feeling lonely and that she and John had not slept in the same bed often enough due to their schedules.

Let this be a lesson to every couple out there. Don’t sleep with other people. Sleep with each other as often as possible. Accumulated sex is the key to any good marriage.

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