Poppy Seeds Are Drugs, Just like Seinfeld Said

“I found out why I was testing positive for opiates. Poppy seeds.”

A semi-funny line on an overrated television show or the truth?


Elizabeth Eden ate a poppy seed bagel one morning, likely thinking nothing of it. Later in the day, she went into labor. A doctor informed her she tested positive for opiates and refused to administer a second test despite her protest and belief that the bagel produce a false positive.

This dick of a doctor called state officials on Eden, which meant her daughter had to stay in the hospital for five days and Eden was assigned a case worker. The case worker, who has seen the episode of Seinfeld, dismissed the case.

There you have it. The country doesn’t have an opiate problem. We have a poppy seed problem.

[Image: Jeremy Keith]

Notify of

Inline Feedbacks
View all comments