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Seth Rogen Had to Tell Tom Cruise What Internet Porn Is

I don’t know what the hell kind of religion Scientology is, but Tom Cruise might be Amish-Scientologist, because he’s pretty much the last person to find out there’s porn on the internet. And Seth Rogen is the one who told him about it.

Judd Apatow told the story to Stephen Colbert on The Late Show, and the video is worth watching just to hear Apatow’s impersonations of Cruise and Rogen. But the story itself is amazing.

Apatow told Colbert that he took Rogen to a meeting with Cruise while they were making Knocked Up and Rogen started talking about weed and porn, telling Cruise he was watching a porno movie on the internet when Cruise stopped him and said “What!? You’re saying there’s adult films on the internet?” and when Rogen told him there is, in fact, porn on the internet, he followed up with “Wait a second, you’re saying if I go on the computer, on the world wide web, there are people having sex?”

See, this is what happens when you have women brought to you to audition to be your girlfriend but you only have eyes for daddy David Miscavige. Avenue Q had an entire song about internet porn, Tom, what are you doing? Making dreamy eyes at photos of L. Ron Hubbard all day?

If this sounds like a bit, it’s because it was a bit. Family Guy did this exact joke. I’m not sure if that’s how Tom Cruise’s story played out, but I think it was. It’s the secret of how he’s able to do those stunts where he hangs from something with one arm in the Mission: Impossible movies.

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He actually explained to Tom that those movies he masturbated to, the ones of naked fireman on greased poles are considered internet porn.

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