ESC

‘Fortnite’ Accidentally Animated the Game’s Boobs to the Horror of Epic Nerds and Epic Games

Fortnite recently updated for its sixth competitive season, and it added a whole slew of things to the cartoony battle royale like pets and new skins. We also got news today that Sony was going to allow cross platform play on Playstation 4, so Fortnite players on Xbox, Playstation and PC will soon all be allowed to play together.

Players logging in also found out that some female skins now had breasts that jiggled a bit when the model moved in certain ways instead of staying rigidly in place like a mannequin. I mean, seriously, breasts that act like they’re a part of a human body? In a video game? For children! I was as outraged as you when I saw it.

Just look at that. Everyone knows that it’s completely unacceptable to imply that breasts might move in any way. It’s disgusting and any woman whose breasts visibly move when she’s in public is probably some kind of slutty slut. And you wouldn’t want Fortnite players to have to associate with women, would you?

At least I assume that’s the proper stance to have on breasts judging from Epic Games’ reaction to the breast physics that were found in the game after the update, as they told PC Gamer “This is embarrassing and unintended. We are working on a fix as soon possible.”

See, it’s embarrassing when breasts move slightly when a woman jumps up and down or runs, so ladies, make sure that doesn’t happen. Otherwise you might be objectified. You should probably wear a burqa just to be safe from your embarrassing and unintended breasts.

Rest assured, the disgusting slight wobble of the female body in motion will be patched out of the game to make it safe for children. But don’t worry, you’ll still be able to shoot at people with assault rifles and beat them to death with blunt objects.

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