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Lil Xan Overdosed on Hot Cheetos, Narrowly Avoided Having History’s Most Embarrassing Rock ‘n’ Roll Death

Remember when rappers were tough and a little scary? When Ice Cube said he was “on the warpath, and when I’m finished, it’s gonna be a bloodbath,” you could honestly see that happening. You know, before he got old and started doing Are We There Yet? the series. Ice Cube was a hard motherfucker in the day. Even 50 Cent is tough. That dude has been shot more times in real life than most people have gotten shot in Fortnite.

But today’s rappers aren’t nearly as badass as those guys. Look at Drake, that dude was on Degrassi and spends all his time texting with teenage girls, which actually explains a lot about his music and why it sounds like it was written by a teenage girl. Seriously, if you had to fight either Ice Cube or Drake, no one would choose to fight Ice Cube.

But even worse than that is Lil Xan. I assume that’s short for Xanax because he looks like one of those Chihuahuas some rich lady carries in her purse that’s constantly shaking and shitting itself. Seriously, he’s basically famous for being a meme because he squished his nose trying to kiss Miley Cyrus’s little sister.

And that meme got a workout today after Xan was hospitalized because he ate too many Cheetos.

Yeah, you read that right. Lil Xan was hospitalized because he ate too many Hot Cheetos.

Yes, after posting to his Instagram story from the back of an ambulance, he posted an Instagram update saying he was okay and adding “Also be careful,Hot Cheetos are one hell of a drug aha !”

Like, I’m glad he didn’t die because judging from the pictures I’ve seen of him he’s eleven years old, but that would have been the most hilariously embarrassing rock star death in the history of music. And I’m including Mama Cass choking to death on a ham sandwich and Elvis Presley having a heart attack while taking a shit.

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