Shockingly, Prostitutes Don’t Like the Idea That Realistic Sex Dolls Are Becoming Readily Available

One of my favorite things about writing for this website is covering the sex doll/sex robot/fake celebrity porn beat. It’s because I really enjoy watching people freak about things that basically amount to nothing and pepper their language with melodramatic hyperbole about how if one more dude jacks off to a picture of some porn star with Sophie Turner’s face photoshopped on it we’re going to be living in a Mad Max movie.

In an attempt to defuse the whole Chicken Little situation we’re living in regarding sex robots, AVN talked to prostitutes working at a legal Nevada brothel about the coming proliferation of sex doll “brothels” that rent sex dolls to patrons. I’m sure that, being sex workers, they’ll have reasonable, thoughtful opinions on human sexuality.

Just kidding, they talk about sex dolls the way women’s studies professors talk about prostitutes.

“It’s dehumanizing,” Allissa said of sex doll brothels. “Sex workers offer more than just a simulation of a woman, we offer authentic intimacy and two-way affection that our clients deeply crave and sincerely benefit from.

“Offering sex dolls as a substitute for human sex workers is not only an insult to sex workers,” she continued, “but it’s also an insult to the millions of clients that seek genuine sexual and emotional connections with professional women like me every day.”

It’s kind of like listening to your friend that’s really into vinyl records explain why they’re better than just listening to a song on Spotify. But in this case, she has a point: having sex with a human is better than having sex with an over-sized Barbie doll. And a prostitute will pretend to care about you for money, that’s true. But can someone who has sex for money please make a really puritanical point about how sex toys are harmful to society? You know, something you might expect to hear from a Baptist preacher in between snake handling sessions.

“The idea that women should be like dolls—unresponsive and lethargic during sex—is downright dangerous,” Price said. “I feel that sex doll brothels support the idea that sex workers are mere objects, devoid of agency, to be used and abused by their patrons.”

“Sex dolls are ‘rape-fantasy’ objects that men can mistreat and abuse without consequences,” Price said. “Men should not be using sex dolls as training wheels for seeing a human sex worker.”

Ahhh, that hits the spot. Having sex with a sex doll is rape. I never get tired that dumbass opinion. Having sex with a doll isn’t “like rape.” What Brett Kavanaugh allegedly did to that girl in high school is like rape, but if she was a sex doll it wouldn’t be on the news. I mean, it probably would, a potential Supreme Court justice fucking a sex doll is pretty funny.

This is kind of like how xHamster is always trying to show how woke they are while still being a fairly skeezy porn site. Like, you can say you’re funding a grant for aspiring female directors all you want, you’re doing the same thing Penthouse used to do by offering $500 to one person every month for amateur content. At least Penthouse only wanted a picture and not 6 minutes of video.

There’s nothing wrong with fucking a doll if that’s what you’re into. Or a body pillow with a picture of Sailor Jupiter in her bra and panties. Or one of those weird dildos that one place makes that are all huge and spiky, you know what I’m talking about. Whatever floats your boat. As long as you’re alone or with someone who wants to watch you can hump whatever inanimate objects you want.