Donald Trump Actually Won a Lawsuit Against Stormy Daniels

Hey, remember when we all found that the President of the United States slept with a porn star and then she told everyone he has a deformed dick that looks like a Mario Brothers character? What a disgrace. When Bill Clinton fucked an intern in the Oval Office, she was classy enough not to tell us what his dong looked like. Also his wife said it was totally cool and not an abuse of power for the ruler of the free world to f**k his subordinates, so, you know, they were better times.

Trump actually got a win against Stormy Daniels that didn’t involve making her wait to f**k him while he took a call from Hillary Clinton during Shark Week. Today a defamation lawsuit by Daniels was tossed under anti-SLAPP laws. It all started when Trump made this tweet in April.

Daniels said someone threatened her, and the drawing of the suspect looked superficially like one of her exes. There’s too much crazy on either side of this for me to unpack it, but I find it equally plausible that Trump hired someone to threaten a porn star as I do that Daniels hired an ex to threaten her. But Trump said it was a “con job” and Daniels and her lawyer Michael Avenatti sued for defamation.

That didn’t work out well for them, as reported by the Washington Post.

Trump’s legal team used a freedom-of-speech defense to get the suit tossed, and on Monday, U.S. District Judge James Otero agreed, saying the “one-off rhetorical comment” was protected by the First Amendment. “The court agrees with Mr. Trump’s argument because the tweet in question constitutes ‘rhetorical hyperbole’ normally associated with politics and public discourse in the U.S.,” Otero said. “The First Amendment protects this type of rhetorical statement.”

Daniels will have to pay Trump’s attorney fees.

The best thing about this, however, is that it’s made a minor celebrity out of Michael Avenatti, who is exactly the kind of asshole you’d expect to be suing the President of the United States on behalf of a porn star.

That so reminds me of Jeb Bush going “please clap” during the primary. Like Jeb’s candidacy, it didn’t trend. Just a piece of advice, but when you’re involved in a dispute with Donald Trump and you’re the one who looks like an asshole, you may want to rethink every choice you’ve made in your entire life.

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5 years ago

I don’t see how is micheal an asshole though. For representing a pornstar? Sound degrading.