Pete Davidson Is Sad About His Break Up, but Not Too Sad to Masturbate

Pete Davidson made his first public appearance since breaking up with Ariana Grande on Saturday, appearing with Judd Apatow at a comedy show/benefit for progressive PAC Swing Left at Largo at the Coronet, and he really opened up about the split, according to E!.

“Well, as you could tell, I don’t want to be here. There’s a lot going on,” Davidson told the crowd. “Does anybody have any open rooms? Looking for a roommate?”

He also had a really funny anecdote about the tattoos he and Grande famously got.

“So, obviously you know I, we [Ariana and I] broke up or whatever but when me and her first got engaged we got tattoos,” he later continued. “And it was like in a magazine like, ‘Was Pete Davidson stupid?’ And 93% of it said yes,” Davidson told the audience. “So my boy, he was like, ‘Don’t listen to that s–t man. They’re literally f–king haters.’ And I’m like, yeah, f–k that. I’m not stupid. And the other day we were in my kitchen and he was like, ‘Yo bro. Turns out you were stupid.'”

I’m sure it’s not the first time someone has told him that. Us Weekly said that Davidson also had a comment about how sad he was, saying “You ever have the feeling, you’re so sad you can’t [masturbate?] … that hasn’t happened to me.”

Perhaps the reason Pete isn’t too sad for the old down-low high-five is that he’s still convinced he and Grande will get back together. According to HollywoodLife, Davidson thinks they’ll be back together by Christmas, or even his birthday in a few weeks. You just keep thinking that, Pete, it definitely won’t lead to you living a lonely, jaded life while she’s running around town with guys with bigger dick energy than you.