ESC

Woman Arrested for Trying to Bite a Man’s Dick Off During a Threesome

Threesomes are usually good, wholesome fun. They’re efficient, too: you get to have sex with two people in the time it would usually take you to have sex with one person. That’s fifty percent more sex happening, and that’s absolutely a good thing. Sometimes things go wrong, but not as wrong as they went for one South Carolina couple when the woman tried to bite off one of the men’s dicks.

The story was reported by WCSC and boy are you going to watch the video of their report. It’s amazing if you like watching serious journalists question every choice they’ve ever made in their entire life while they Perd Hapley their way through the phrase “sexual threesome.” Also, for some reason the headline specifies the woman who tried to bite off a man’s penis during sex was naked, which is a pretty dog bites man detail in a woman bites penis story.

Police responded to the South Pointe Apartments on Murray Drive. Investigators say one of the men involved called 911 and said the woman attacked him and tried to bite off his penis. When officers went inside the apartment they saw a bleeding naked woman coming at them on all fours.

Police Chief Dennis Turner says they had to shoot her with a Taser to subdue her.

They had to use Narcan to revive her, he said.

This whole story sounds like something that would happen in a Junji Ito comic. Which is actually what the police chief said about the bodycam footage, but without my hip reference.

“Honestly, it’s one of the most disturbing videos, body cam videos, I have seen in my career. It honestly reminded me of something you would see off of a horror movie,” Turner said Thursday.

And keep in mind that the police weren’t there for the part where she tried to bite a guy’s dick off. This is a story that will keep me awake at night, though; I just can’t get over the idea that this didn’t happen in Florida.

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