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You Won’t (And Probably Shouldn’t) Believe This Insane Interview With Drew Barrymore

Drew Barrymore has been pretty crazy in the past. Not Margot Kidder crazy, but I think she started shooting heroine into her eyeballs when she was 3 years old or something. She’s never quite been as weird as she sounded in an interview printed by Horus, the in-flight magazine of Egypt Air.

Despite being unstable in her relationships most in her life, despite the several unsuccessful marriages and despite the busy life of stardom that dominated her life for several years, the beautiful American Hollywood actress Drew Barrymore has recently decided to temporary take an unlimited vacation to play her most crucial role as a mother.

That’s the introduction, and already…. Drew Barrymore isn’t retiring from acting. She’s doing Santa Clarita Diet season 3 for Netflix and a film called The Stand-In right now. And there’s more in the article. Barrymore allegedly says “I would only resume my career when I feel that my daughters can depend on themselves.” Her daughters are 6 and 4, and Drew is working, so…. congrats to Olive and Frankie for being self-sufficient, see you after school, I guess?

And it gets weirder, as “Drew” comments on her weight loss, saying “I find this a great opportunity to encourage every woman who is overweight to work on regaining her beauty and body, especially that is not as hard as one may think; it is all about determination and following the appropriate diet under the supervision of a physician.” I mean, the sentiment is fine, but the way it’s worded is not a way I’ve ever heard any person ever talk.

Buzzfeed looked into the interview, and Barrymore’s people say she didn’t actually give the interview. Also, no one knows who is actually printing this magazine, who are potentially just making up bollocks and hoping no one notices, though they deny it and say the interview is genuine. All I know for sure is that this business model works, so look forward to my interview with Elon Musk where he says the only thing that simulates him sexually are the Hobbit feet from the Peter Jackson Lord of the Rings movies.

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