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Chris Martin Says Gwyneth Paltrow Left Him Feeling ‘Worthless,’ Pissing Off Gwyneth Who Says That’s What Worthless People Say

It’s been about four years since Gwyneth Paltrow and Chris Martin decided to “consciously uncouple.” Leave it to Gwyneth Paltrow to come up with the most pretentious way to announce her divorce. Yes, Gwyneth, we get it; we peons get divorced while you “uncouple.”

Gwyneth did her usual peppy media spin to make her “uncoupling” sound positive, and how she and Chris were sad, but would always be best friends. Basically, Gwyneth did her best to make this dissolution of her marriage more like the breakup of your favorite characters on a teen drama show. And those characters are forced to stay friends so you’ll keep watching the show. Gwyneth still needs people to like her, watch her movies, and buy her hideous GOOP products, hence the working of the “I’m still best friends with my ex!” angle.

However, it seems the end of the marriage for Chris Martin was not the bright, sparkly experience that Gwyneth was having. Although the divorce was without contention, Martin’s discusses his true feelings about the divorce in his latest Coldplay documentary Coldplay: A Head Full of Dreams.

According to Martin, his breakup with Paltrow left him feeling“completely worthless” and that he was “nothing to anybody.” Ouch. Poor guy. That’s quite a different reaction than the spin Gwyneth was putting on.

After hearing about what Martin shared on the documentary, reports say that Gwyneth is fucking pissed. She apparently was displeased with Martin for putting their divorce in such a negative light. Because everyone knows that the end of a marriage should be nothing but sunshine and ponies dancing on rainbows!

Yes, Gwyneth. How dare your ex-husband feel unhappiness and discouragement during your uncoupling? Inexcusable! And to have the audacity to express how he felt during that troubled time? Unforgivable!

I can tell that Gwyneth must have been the dominant voice in that relationship. Because come on, who do you really think had the hand in naming their kids “Apple” and “Moses?” Only a twit like Gwyneth Paltrow could come up with atrocious names like those. I have a feeling Martin eventually found a new sense of freedom after the divorce was finalized

Chris Martin is currently dating Dakota Johnson, so at least he seems to be doing pretty well now. And look, Chris, no matter how rough things get, there’s always one thing you can be positive about: You don’t have to be married to Gwyneth Paltrow anymore.

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