Justin Bieber White Knights Aaron Carter After Twitter Rant

This week, former teen pop star Aaron Carter took to Twitter to bitch about the kids today and how no one appreciates his contributions to the music world (i.e, “Aaron’s Party” and “I Want Candy”). Basically, the thirty-year-old Carter is pissed that Bieber and teen stars of today have not paid him proper tribute as the once quintessential ’00s tween pop star.

I don’t know what kind of “homage” Aaron Carter expects from Justin Bieber. Yeah, Carter popular with tween girls back in the early 2000s, but he was definitely not the Freddie Mercury of our day. At thirteen, I jumped on my parents’ couch to “Aaron’s Party” (sorry, Mom), but the song wasn’t exactly the “Bohemian Rhapsody” of our generation.

Maybe Carter is pissed that Bieber stole his look. They both started out as these adorable, be-dimpled, clean-cut young teens. As adults, they have both slowly devolved into craggy, greasy-looking dudes with ugly tattoos.

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Was gonna wait a while to say anything but word travels fast, listen plain and simple Hailey I am soooo in love with everything about you! So committed to spending my life getting to know every single part of you loving you patiently and kindLY. I promise to lead our family with honor and integrity letting Jesus through his Holy Spirit guide us in everything we do and every decision we make. My heart is COMPLETELY and FULLY YOURS and I will ALWAYS put you first! You are the love of my life Hailey Baldwin and I wouldn’t want to spend it with anybody else. You make me so much better and we compliment eachother so well!! Can’t wait for the best season of life yet!. It’s funny because now with you everything seems to make sense! The thing I am most excited for is that my little brother and sister get to see another healthy stable marriage and look for the same!!! Gods timing really is literally perfect, we got engaged on the seventh day of the seventh month, the number seven is the number of spiritual perfection, it’s true GOOGLE IT! Isn’t that nuts? By the way I didn’t plan that, anyways My goodness does feel good to have our future secured! WERE GONNA BE BETTER AT 70 BABY HERE WE GO! “He who finds a wife finds a good thing and obtains FAVOR from the Lord!” This is the year of favor!!!!

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Not to worry, though, Aaron! Your younger, more annoying duplicate, Justin Bieber, is here for you!

There you go, Aaron! Your clone is here to reassure you, that he’ll totally give you some “hype!” Don’t you feel better now?

Well, after all that bitching and whining, Carter politely turned down Bieber’s generous offer to rep him.

Given that Carter’s Twitter name is “MY ALBUM IS OUT NOW!!,” it certainly seems that he feels confident in his own marketing skills without the Bieber Bump.

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