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Lindsay Lohan’s Reps Scour Facebook for ‘Substantial Endorsements’

It’s been a while since we’ve heard from Lindsay Lohan since she’s more or less fled the country for Greece. She has now opened an exclusive club on Mykonos called the Lohan Beach House. For someone who is supposedly in recovery from alcohol and drug abuse, I question the wisdom of whether it’s a great idea her to be operating a bar in a known party area.

Her PR image has been shoddy for the practically the last decade, but she has done nothing to improve or revive that perception. However, Lohan wants another chance at reigniting her fame. And when I say fame, I’m going to assume she is referring to show business and not her notoriety for incidents such as almost kidnapping a small child and getting punched in the face for it. Or referring to victims of sexual assault as”weak.” Or getting into public, drunken screaming fights her boyfriends. And girlfriends. Okay, I’m going to be here all day if I delve down this rabbit hole any further.

Anyway, Lohan’s reps are stalking publicists on Facebook to say that if any of brands are interested in working with the renowned Lindsay Lohan, they should definitely get in touch! But not just any brands mind you. Here are Lindsay’s exact specifications for brands according to what her reps say:

“Acceptable brands include: fashion, beauty, car, lifestyle, CPG, fitness/lifestyle, food/drinks, entertainment/media, tech. Must have a substantial budget.”

“Must have a substantial budget.” Yes, I can see why any brand Lindsay Lohan would work with would need an extremely ample budget. This clearly has a double meaning. Her rep doesn’t only mean that a potential brand requires a lot of money just to pay Lohan’s salary, but they’re also going to need additional costs to keep Lohan placated. And enough money to cover expenses when they fall behind when Lohan is late. Or if she turns up drunk/hungover. Or if she happens to destroy something while intoxicated. Or if she decides not to show up at all.

As tempting as the prospect of working with Lindsay Lohan might be, Lohan’s reps have received very lackluster responses to this exciting offer. Who knew that when you have a reputation for being unreliable, unprofessional, and have a recurring drug/alcohol problem, other people generally won’t want to work with you?

Lohan has apparently deluded herself into thinking that she can forever bank on her childhood and teen stardom to receive work. I’m sure these publicists have politely communicated to Lohan’s reps, “Yeah…don’t call us, we’ll call you.” Then they told their social media teams to block them from their Facebook pages, and any phone calls should go straight to voicemail.

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