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Surprisingly Noah Cyrus Calls Her Relationship with Lil Xan a Mistake

Well, Noah Cyrus is certainly not keeping it a secret that her relationship with her ex-boyfriend, Lil Xan was terrible. Last week, the hip-hop blog World Star asked its Instagram followers,

“What mistakes did you make in your last relationship that you won’t repeat again?”

Noah Cyrus subsequently replied:

“My last relationship was the mistake [anguished emoji], lmao.”

I should point out that Noah Cyrus is eighteen-years-old, and we all know that teenagers are not exactly the models of discretion. I do have to say that I agree, though. If the person you’re dating has a bunch of ugly neck face tattoos, that is indeed massive relationship mistake number one.

Lil Xan and Noah Cyrus, like many young, immature celebrities with no impulse control whatsoever, had a very, *ahem* tumultuous breakup back in September. The two had been together since August. So yes, they had been dating for roughly one month. The public fallout involved numerous social media accusations of mutual cheating, a cut-out of Charlie Puth’s face on a porn star’s body, Lil Xan filming himself urinating on his plaque for his new song “Betrayed,” and ending with Noah Cyrus trying to sell a bottle of her tears for $12,000. No word on whether there were buyers.

Fucking Christ. I can’t believe I ended up in this internet rabbit hole of human idiocy. It seems that both of these shitheads are equally responsible for their breakup. They’re both morons, with no amount of restraint about broadcasting the details of their extremely disgusting relationship . Lil Xan and Noah Cyrus are twenty-two and eighteen-years-old respectively. Not the age where one is considered the most mature, but holy shit these two are beyond horrible. These are two people who do not belong together, or with anyone else. This is what happens a couple of fuckheads are given an audience. Congratulations, you two. You are both admirably demonstrating how to be the paragons of human garbage on the Internet.

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