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Buying a Monkey, Not Beating the Shit Out of Women, The Thing That Could Land Chris Brown in Jail

I always knew I’d be writing a story about Chris Brown going to jail, but I always thought it would be, you know, because he beat the shit out of a woman. It turns out, however, that if you’re a famous rapper no one really cares if you beat up your girlfriend, but you can still get in trouble for owning a monkey.

Yes, Chris Brown has apparently never seen Friends because just like Ross Gellar he bought a capuchin monkey as a pet, something you need a permit for. Of course, he thinks he’s above the law, if no one cared when he beat his girlfriend’s ass bloody and then got her swollen face tattooed on his neck, how is anyone going to come for him over improper monkey licensing?

According to TMZ, the LA City Attorney, that’s who. They really have their priorities straight over there.

Anyway, Chris Brown will now have his day in court on February 6th and he could go to jail for six months over this. This is kind of like busting Capone for not paying his taxes and not, you know, all the murder, but a win is a win.

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