January Jones Out Here With a Necklace of Her Dead Dog’s Teeth

January Jones doesn’t seem to enjoy surprises. If you ever date January Jones, she’s going to tell you exactly what you should gift her. And don’t try to get creative with your gifts the way her unfortunate ex-boyfriend did.

In an interview with US Weekly, January Jones said her ex gave her the worst gift ever: a necklace made out of her dead dog’s teeth. This is what January had to say:

“I had a boyfriend give me my dead dog’s baby teeth made into a necklace, which was sweet in theory, but really morbid and I would never wear it… I still have them, but they’re like his little baby teeth set in a chain and it was a little off.”

Should have stuck with the list, pal. The moment January opened that gift, that’s when she knew the relationship was coming to an end.

For my part, I like surprises and creativity, but s**t, a dead dog’s teeth necklace is creepy even by my standards. I can understand January being a little weirded out. I mean, where are you going to wear something like that? And if someone comments on your jewelry, then you have to say something like, “Oh, yes, this necklace was made from my dead dog’s baby teeth. He choked on a chicken bone and died in his own vomit, but isn’t this sweet?”

In her interview, January revealed that she is not shy about telling her significant others exactly what they need to present to her:

“The first pair of shoes I splurged on were Sergio Rossi, but I made my boyfriend buy me them for Christmas,” she dished. “I also had someone give me the only autograph I’ve ever wanted, which was Robert Stack who hosted Unsolved Mysteries back in the day and it was signed, To January,” for my birthday.”

You hear that, future January Jones suitors? NO SURPRISES, OK? Just stick to the pre-approved list of acceptable presents, and you’ll be fine. BUT DO NOT DIVERT FROM THE LIST.

But no one is as good at giving gifts to January Jones than January Jones, she says.

“I buy myself the best gifts. I’m really good at gift giving to myself. Any time there’s Valentine’s Day, Christmas, a birthday, even my son’s birthday, I buy myself jewelry.”

Okay, future suitors, maybe you’ll just be better off giving January a cash gift instead.

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