ESC

Legendary Is Making a Big-Budget ‘Toxic Avenger’ Movie Because They Clearly Don’t Understand What People Like About It

The Toxic Avenger is one of the dumbest movies ever made, and I mean that in the best way possible. In a lot of ways it’s a film that could be made today, full of cheesy dialogue, completely unnecessary nudity and brutally excessive violence and gore that poked not-so-gentle fun at superheroes. In other words, like every other Troma film, it’s a beautiful disaster.

Of course, because it’s 2018, that means someone is looking to turn it into a big-budget movie franchise/cinematic universe with a PG-13 rating and bunch of spin-off shows to launch the Toxic Avenger streaming service. You can’t be a cinematic universe without a streaming service, after all.

Yes, The Hollywood Reporter is reporting that Legendary picked up the rights to The Toxic Avenger “with the goal of relaunching the property as a full-throated franchise.” Ugh.

Shit like this is why am an atheist. There’s no way a kind and loving god lets this happen.

Let me walk you through how this is going to go. This movie is going to come out and a combination of curiosity, boredom and name recognition will give it a big opening weekend and it’ll do okay but not great. The reason is that superhero movies are almost inherently just okay. The only time anyone has had any success building a cinematic universe was Marvel, and their movies aren’t even that good anymore, people have just seen like 95 of them of so far and are invested in seeing how things turn out.

Seriously, Warner Brothers couldn’t make a movie with Batman and Superman work, how does Legendary think they’re going to turn a 30-year-old schlockfest into the next Avengers?

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“Shit like this is why am an atheist. There’s no way a kind and loving god lets this happen.” — I cracked up so hard at this line, thanks :)

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