Lil Jon and the Kool-Aid Man Have the Year’s Hottest Christmas Song

Novelty Christmas songs are one of the best things man ever invented, right behind porn and Sailor Jupiter body pillows. I can’t get enough of them because they’re all terrible. So I guess I can get enough of them because I don’t want to hear most of them more than once.

Of course, some of them are actually good. “Christmas in Hollis” is still the best Christmas songs ever written, after all. But this year’s best Christmas song might just be “All I Really Want For Christmas” by Lil Jon and the Kool-Aid Man. Wait, what? Yeah, maybe we should listen to this.

Okay, two things. Number one: This is the angriest Christmas song I’ve ever heard. You would think that would be “Grandma Got Run Over By Reindeer” but that’s not even really angry at all. Santa kills and possibly rapes this dude’s Grandma and he’s just like “well, whatever, let’s have some goose.” Lil Jon sounds way more aggressive about not liking eggnog than Randy Brooks does about his grandmother’s murder.

The second thing is this is clearly an ad for Kool-Aid and I don’t even care. The Kool-Aid Man’s Christmas song breakdowns are the best thing to happen in a Christmas song in years.

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