Stephen Miller’s Spray-On Hair Is Exquisite

Stephen Miller, Official Trump Bootlicker, and Honorary Fuckhead has at least gifted the people with something legitimate to laugh at.  I’m talking about Miller’s blatantly idiotic attempt at covering his baldness with spray-on hair.

I have a vague recollection of seeing infomercials for this stuff in the 90s, as I’m sure many my age probably recall.

And I think everyone agreed that realistic-looking sprayable hair was as believable as an ugly jumpsuit that made you lose weight while watching TV.

Miller appeared on Face the Nation over the weekend, and in between his rantings about Trump’s wall and how awful immigrants are, viewers became increasingly distracted by his spray-painted on hair.

The original commercial insisted that this product isn’t really paint, but “a powder that clings to hair follicles.” I don’t believe that was the case with Miller for a second. First of all, I don’t think Miller has ever had any follicles in that area of his head, to begin with. Secondly, that was such a shitty looking cover-up job.

I think Miller probably came up with the idea to disguise his massive forehead at the last minute, grabbed some actual spray paint and haphazardly aimed. Either that or his hair stylist really had it in for Miller and wanted to see him publically humiliated on television (which let’s face it, we all do).

I don’t understand how Miller could assume for a minute that the public wouldn’t notice this pathetic, dumbass camouflage job. We all know what Stephen Miller’s fucking face looks like given how he insists on doing and saying the shittiest things in the public eye.

Well, if we’re forced to have Stephen Miller exist in this world, we can at least mock him for being a pitiful, raging dickhead.

Notify of

Inline Feedbacks
View all comments