ESC

Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez Nude Photo Proven Fake by Reddit Foot Detective

I told you just the other day that conservatives (and, to be fair, establishment Democrats) had lost their entire damn minds over freshman Congresswoman Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez, the self-described socialist Bernie Sanders supporter who has started to turn the Washington common wisdom on its head.

To give you an idea of how powerful she has become as one of the least powerful people in the government, you probably know who she is but can’t name your own member of congress. And because Ocasio-Cortez used to do a livestream and take questions from fans and constituents while making dinner, almost every potential 2020 Democratic presidential candidate was on their Instagram Story or Facebook Live over the holidays making dinner or drinking a beer trying to seem hip.

Yikes. But people are still obsessed with Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez for some reason. It’s not like she’s the only good congressperson; Ro Khanna, Tulsi Gabbard and Rashida Tlaib all have similar views, as do Bernie Sanders, Sherrod Brown and Elizabeth Warren in the Sentate. Still, the attacks on Ocasio-Cortez don’t seem to stop.

For example, one conservative blogger broke the “exclusive” story that she used to go by “Sandy” instead of Alexandria. In fact, I’ll bet her friends still call her Sandy. What a fucking fraud, right?

She also went to college and had an internship for Ted Kennedy.

The horror! And to think this clearly rich person wants to raise taxes on people earning over $10 million a year.

Vice tech vertical Motherboard covered what might be the most bizarre attack to date is weird too-online right-wing types circulating what they claim is a nude picture of the congresswoman on the places those people tend to congregate, which is mostly on the 4chan boards that aren’t about anime porn.

The thing is, it isn’t a picture of Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez. It’s a picture of Sydney Leathers, a woman famous for sexting with Anthony Weiner. How did we figure out that this wasn’t a picture of Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez? The work of internet foot detectives/fetishists on Reddit. Specifically, Ocasio-Cortez’s index toe (the little piggy that stayed home) is longer than her big toe, while the woman in the picture doesn’t have that going for her.

Here’s the quote the Reddit user known as jokes_on_you but who I’m calling Mike Hammertoe gave to Vice about solving the case.

“I’ve sucked enough toes in my life to recognize when something doesn’t look right,” they told me in a Reddit direct message. “Because we can’t dorsi- or plantarflex our 2nd-5th toes independently I knew it wasn’t a matter of the toe being bent. I thought that maybe she has some form of brachydactyly but her Wikifeet page has clear evidence to the contrary. So it was clear to me that it wasn’t her feet.”

Godspeed to you, dude who is probably Quentin Tarantino.

Leave a Reply

avatar
  Subscribe  
Notify of
Latest
Load more