We Got Her: Congresswoman Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez’s Promising Political Future Cut Short by Revelation She Once Danced While in College

If you don’t follow politics, one of the biggest stories of the moment is the ascent of barista Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez to become the youngest woman to ever serve in the U.S. House of Representatives. A Bernie Sanders organizer in 2016, Ocasio-Cortez defeated the number three Democrat in the House on a platform of unabashed socialism. This caused the Republicans to immediately starting peeing their pants and corporate Democrats to try and find a way to convince people she won for any reason other than people liked her policies.

Ocasio-Cortez has been in Congress for about a day, but she’s already been the victim of a number of devastatingly effective attacks from the right. I mean, in the way Wile E. Coyote’s products from the Acme Corporation were devastatingly effective in catching the Roadrunner.

The first brain genius to try to bring down Ocasio-Cortez was John Cardillo, a Newsmax and Rebel TV host who slammed her for having the temerity to want to help poor people despite having grown up in this palatial 1500 square foot mansion.

He also got the college she went to wrong, but remember it was Boston University, it’ll be important later. By the way, this tweet became a pretty funny meme for a minute.

The next batter was Eddie Scarry who decided to go down swinging away with “She claims to be poor but can afford clothing. Clearly she’s a communist spy.”

That’s also kind of a creepy picture. Why are you posting pictures of a congresswoman’s ass, bro? He got so blown out that he deleted the tweet.

Which brings us to today. One of those QAnon morons who thinks there’s a child prostitution ring for the rich and powerful and Donald Trump was elected president to secretly bring it down posted a clip from this video that Ocasio-Cortez appeared in as a college junior to promote Boston University.

Yes, it’s a parody of the dance montage from The Breakfast Club and Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez does Ally Sheedy’s dance. Would the revelation that the sort of 29-year-old who gets elected to Congress might be a dork finally be enough to bring down this communist menace? Let’s check the scoreboard.

Yup, owned so hard he deleted his account. I’m not even sure what this guy thought he was going to accomplish here. Did he think that we live in the town from Footloose?

I’m sure these attacks are going to continue until she’s Speaker of the House or President or something. “Ocasio-Cortez pretends to be from a humble background, but we found out that she had both Pokemon Gold AND Pokemon Silver when she was 10. Clearly another one of those champagne socialists who will decide racism and homophobia are good when she finally gets out into the real world!”

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4 years ago

For a smart girl (Yes, BU students are bright), she is extremely poorly spoken and unable to articulate her positions well at all. Honestly, when I hear her speak, she comes across as dumb. She’s not a good messenger for her own message. Plus, her message sucks.

4 years ago

She’s still a cluless bitch. Fits in well here with your fawning.

4 years ago

American Politics blow my mind. How is any of this real?