Ariana Grande Says She’s Probably Never Dating Again

Ariana Grande has given up on dating. In response to a tweet asking who she was dating, Grande said the answer for the rest of the year and “probably my life” is no one.

Is she just being extra? I mean, yeah, probably. She did just break up with Pete Davidson after the guy she actually loved and was dating Pete to get over O.D.ed, and then Davidson basically threatened to kill himself because she made a crack about Kanye West, so can you blame her? If I had been engaged to Pete Davidson I’d probably swear off dating when I realized how bad my taste in men was, too.

Of course, Grande also wrote a song about how she needed new dick after dumping him, so she’s probably not that great a catch herself. Then again, being the subject of an inevitable bitchy passive-aggressive breakup song hasn’t stopped anyone from dating Taylor Swift, so what do I know.

Davidson joked about Grande’s song at a stand-up performance on New Year’s Eve, as reported by People.

“That s— came out before I had to put on a f—— duck hat and be like, ‘Derrrp here’s the pizza!’ ” he said, according to E! Online. “So all my friends were there. It was a sad day. We didn’t know it was going to happen.”

And while Davidson said he wasn’t thrilled with the song, he acknowledged that it could have been much worse. “So I start playing it. And we’re all like, ‘Ehhh … it’s ok.’ We’re like ‘Okay, it’s not that bad for you. It’s bad, but it’s not that bad for you,’ ” he said, according to the outlet.

Pete’s as good at stand-up as he is at relationships and getting tattoos, I guess.

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4 years ago

A young person breaks up with her boyfriend and says she’ll never love again. Hold the presses! I don’t think this has ever happened before in human history!