Christian Bale’s Golden Globe Speech is Satanist Approved

On Sunday night, Christian Bale won the Golden Globe for Best Actor for his portrayal of Dick Cheney in Vice. By now, everyone knows that Christian Bale thanked Satan in his acceptance speech when he said “Thank you to Satan for giving me inspiration for playing this role.”

With the exception of a view dissenters with sticks way the hell up their asses, most people found Bale’s speech pretty fucking hilarious. And do you know who else loved Christian Bale’s speech? The actual Church of Satan, of course!

There you have it, everyone. The Evangelicals might not have liked Bale’s speech, but definitely Satanist approved!

I haven’t seen Vice yet, but Bale’s speech alone makes me want to go to the movie, ASAP. Usually, when an actor portrays a character (especially when it’s a real person), they try to dig deep into that person’s psyche. They try to find some element of humanity in that character, play the part with a little empathy, and try to get the audience to feel the barest hint of sympathy.

But nope, Christian Bale was all “f**k this s**t, this is Dick Cheney we’re dealing with.” Man, it sounds like he just went all out with this role in portraying Cheney as the gargoyle that he is.

Bale also made a crack that he might be looking to play Mitch McConnell next:

“I’ll be cornering the market on charisma-free assholes. What do you think, Mitch McConnell, next? That could be good, couldn’t it?”

That would be awesome. And if Christian Bale does decide to play Mitch McConnell, I’m thinking he might channel an adult Damien for the role.

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