Egyptian Woman Gets 3 Years in Jail for ‘Sexually Harassing’ a Monkey

I always roll my eyes when politicians and pundits start going on about how “America is the greatest nation in the history of the universe and all parallel universes and it’s even better than any fictional nations, even the ones with giant robots.” Like, slow your roll, buddy, there’s better countries. Ever been to New Zealand? The entire country is a beach filled with beautiful people and winter lasts for two weeks.

That said, America isn’t the worst country either. For example, in Egypt, you can go to jail for sexually harassing a monkey. And that’s exactly what happened to Basma Ahmed, a 25-year-old who made some dirty jokes in a pet shop, according to

She was arrested in October after a 90-second video of the incident went viral among young people, school and university students and on social media sites, Al-Ahram reported.

The video shows Ahmed laughing while touching the genitalia of a monkey at a pet shop in the Nile Delta city and making sexual innuendos as people around her chuckle.

Apparently the main crime here is “inciting indecency,” so it’s not sexually harassing the monkey that’s the problem, it’s the dirty jokes. She’s basically the Egyptian Lenny Bruce.

I don’t think there should be a penalty for sexually harassing a monkey because monkeys are basically Harvey Weinstein but less hairy, if you don’t believe me, here’s a video of women being sexually harassed by monkeys.

Yeah, poking them in the junk doesn’t seem so bad in comparison, does it?

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